Words Matter: Small changes in language can create a more inclusive world (3/3)

We are publishing a series of blogs on Affinityhub.uk regarding disability terminology. We know this can be a complex area for disabled people and their families.  We wanted to encourage reflection and share our experiences over what words are used, and why words matter.

In our third blog Helen Rutherford BA Hons, Dip HE, MBACP Accred, founder of Emotional Respite Disability Counselling Service  discusses how small changes in language can create a more inclusive world.

Identity-First vs. Person-First Language

One of the most common debates in disability language is the choice between identity-first and person-first language.

• Identity-first language (e.g., “disabled person”) acknowledges disability as an integral part of identity, just like being a woman, a parent, or an artist. Many of us embrace this because we do not see disability as something separate from who we are.

• Person-first language (e.g., “person with a disability”) puts the person before the disability, emphasising that we are individuals first. Some prefer this approach because it pushes back against defining people solely by their disabilities.

  
  

Both are valid, and the best approach is simple: Ask people what they prefer.

Inclusive Language: Communicating with Respect and Awareness

As someone who values inclusivity and respectful communication, I have learned that language plays a crucial role in shaping perceptions and experiences. When discussing disability, the words we choose can either empower or inadvertently reinforce harmful stereotypes. Here is what I’ve discovered about using inclusive language and why it matters.

Words Matter

Language evolves, and so do our understandings of disability. Some words and phrases that were once common are now outdated and offensive. For example, terms like invalid, handicapped, or crippled are no longer appropriate. Instead, using disabled is both accurate and widely accepted.

Similarly, it is important to avoid language that implies pity. Instead of saying someone is suffering from or a victim of a condition, simply state the facts, a person with [condition] or a person who has [condition]. This shift respects their experience without framing it as a tragedy.

Respecting Lived Experiences

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is to avoid ‘inspiration porn,’ a term coined by disability activist Stella Young. This refers to portraying disabled people as inspiring simply for living their everyday lives. While stories of perseverance can be powerful, they should centre on the need for accessibility and inclusion rather than framing the person as a motivational tool for non-disabled audiences.

Getting the Terminology Right

It is best to use terms that reflect reality. Instead of needing assistive technology, say someone uses it. Instead of confined to a wheelchair, say wheelchair user. And while it may seem positive to say someone has ‘super-powers’ due to their disability or neurodivergence, this can diminish the real challenges they face, unless they personally choose to use that term.

Everyday Language

That said, there is no need to overthink every phrase. Many disabled people use everyday language just like everyone else. A wheelchair user might still say going for a walk, and a visually impaired person may say see you later without issue. But it is worth avoiding phrases with negative connotations, such as blind drunk or turning a deaf ear.

Infantilising Language

This undermines our dignity and autonomy, reinforcing outdated stereotypes. It sends the message that we cannot make decisions or be independent. Over time, this erodes self-confidence, damages mental health, and makes self-advocacy harder.

Being spoken to like a child is dehumanising. It chips away at our identity and perpetuates ableist attitudes. When constantly underestimated, it is difficult not to internalise those beliefs, leading to frustration, low self-worth, and isolation.

Promoting autonomy

Disabled adults deserve respect and to make our own choices. Speak to us as you would any other adult (with relevant adaptations for those who have communication needs). Address us directly rather than deferring to a caregiver. Respect our decisions, even if they differ from yours.

Empowering disabled adults requires challenging biases and advocating for representation in workplaces, media, and leadership. We have the right to take risks, make mistakes, and live on our own terms, just like anyone else.

Respect, dignity, and autonomy are fundamental human rights. It is long overdue that society fully acknowledges this as a whole.

Choosing Our Words

By choosing our words thoughtfully, we can contribute to a more inclusive and respectful world. Language is powerful, let us use it to uplift and support, rather than alienate or stereotype.

Language evolves, and so do personal preferences. The most important thing? Listen. Learn. Adapt.

If you are unsure about the right terminology, ask. If someone corrects you, do not take it personally, just be open to change. Small shifts in how we speak can have a huge impact on creating a world where disabled people feel seen, respected, and included.

Because at the end of the day, it is not just about words, it is about dignity, identity, and belonging.

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Here is a handy guide for everyone

Tips for Inclusive Communication

• Use neutral, factual language. Avoid words that imply pity, patronise, infantilise or victimise.

• Respect individual preferences. When in doubt, ask how someone prefers to be described.

• Avoid outdated or offensive terms. Use disabled instead of handicapped or differently abled.

• Focus on barriers, not just perseverance. Instead of framing someone’s story as inspiring, highlight the need for better accessibility.

• Steer clear of artificial or exaggerated descriptions. Do not describe disabled or neurodivergent people as having ‘super-powers’ unless they do so themselves.

• Be mindful of unnecessary personal questions. Asking someone how they became disabled can be intrusive. Respect people’s privacy to share information about themselves if and when they feel comfortable doing so.

• Own mistakes and learn from them. If you get terminology wrong, acknowledge it, apologise, and improve.

• Practice Empathy. Consider the impact of the words and phrases we use on the experience of others.