Reclaiming My Body After Medicalised Trauma: A Journey of Healing and Empowerment

An artist begins a new tattoo, carefully outlining a detailed design on a forearm.

For many years, my body felt like it was no longer mine. After enduring medicalised trauma, countless procedures, invasive treatments, and the overwhelming sense of being more a patient than a person, I found myself disconnected from the very vessel that carried me through life. The loss of bodily autonomy stretched beyond physical pain; it seeped deep into my identity.

As the founder of Emotional Respite Disability Counselling Service, I have dedicated my professional life to supporting others through disability and trauma, but healing my own relationship with my body required a deeply personal journey. One pivotal moment in that healing was when I decided to get a tattoo, a permanent mark of reclaiming my body and rewriting my story.

Medicalised trauma is unique because it often involves coercion, loss of control, and the feeling of being objectified by systems designed to help. The clinical environment, with its sterile rooms and impersonal treatments, made me feel like a subject of interventions rather than a human being with emotions, fears, and hopes. Over time, this created a fracture between my sense of self and my physical body. I lived with scars, visible and invisible, each a reminder of battles fought without my full consent or understanding at the time.

Choosing to get a tattoo was a radical act of self-ownership. I thought carefully about what this symbol would mean for me. It was not about aesthetics alone; it was about storytelling, healing, and power. The experience of sitting in the tattoo studio, deciding on every detail from design to placement, felt transformative. For once, I was the one guiding what happened to my body. The tattoo became a badge of resilience, a visible declaration that my body belongs to me, not to past traumas or medical interventions.

Intricate linework tattoo featuring a heartbeat going into a heart framed by a mandala design on the forearm.

Symbolism of My Tattoo: The Heartbeat and Mandala

My tattoo design is a visual representation of healing, reclamation, and life itself. The ECG heartbeat flowing into a heart-shaped mandala symbolises the journey from survival to self-connection. The heartbeat represents my lived experience, the physical proof that I am alive, that my body has carried me through pain, trauma, and resilience. Each rise and fall of the ECG line mirrors the rhythm of my own endurance, the moments of struggle and recovery that have defined my path.

As the heartbeat transitions into the heart mandala, it transforms from something clinical into something spiritual and creative. The mandala, a sacred symbol of wholeness and balance, reflects the process of turning pain into beauty and chaos into calm. It represents the integration of body and spirit, a reminder that healing is not just physical but also emotional and deeply personal.

Together, the heartbeat and mandala tell a story of reclamation, of taking back ownership of my body and transforming what was once associated with medicalisation and loss of control into a mark of empowerment and love. This tattoo is not just art on my skin; it is a living emblem of survival, transformation, and the unwavering truth that my body, my story, and my heartbeat are my own.

Reclaiming my body in this way was not a sudden fix but a step in an ongoing process. The tattoo serves as a daily reminder to nurture my body with kindness and respect, to honour boundaries, and to listen to what my body needs. It also connects me with a broader community of people who use body art as a form of healing.

If you, like me, have experienced medicalised trauma, I encourage you to consider what reclaiming your body might look like for you. It might be through art, movement, rest, or something else entirely. The key is choosing actions that affirm your autonomy and sense of self. Your body is your home; no one else should write its story without your voice.

Here are some tips that helped me and might help others:

Listen to your body: Pay attention to what feels safe and what doesn’t. Honour your limits and needs without judgment.

Create rituals of care: Whether it’s meditation, gentle movement, or simply resting, find ways to reconnect lovingly with your body.

Express yourself creatively: Art, writing, or body decoration like tattoos can help tell your story in a way medicine may have silenced.

Set boundaries: Learn to say no to anything that feels invasive or disrespectful.

Seek supportive communities: Connect with others who understand and respect your journey. Shared experiences bring strength.

Healing is not linear, and reclaiming your body is a journey you go on in your own time and way. My journey is ongoing, but each day I feel a little stronger, a little more whole. My tattoo is more than ink; it anchors me as a symbol of survival, hope, and the fierce, beautiful power to reclaim myself. It's a reminder of who I am, resilient and whole.

This blog shares my personal experience and hopes to inspire those on similar paths to embrace their own healing journeys with compassion and courage.

Written by Helen Rutherford, BA Hons, DipHe, MBACP Accred