Metaphors, Disability and Therapy

As someone who has lived independently for nearly 30 years while needing 24-hour care, I’ve become deeply aware of how profoundly our environment affects our well-being when living with a disability. The physical, emotional, and social spaces we inhabit shape not only how we function but whether we thrive.

In both personal reflection and therapeutic work, I’ve found metaphors to be powerful tools. They allow us to express complex experiences in a way that feels accessible, human, and true. One metaphor that grew from my own lived experience is The Flower and the Pot. It speaks to the reality of life with a disability, but its message reaches beyond to anyone who has felt limited, overlooked, or unsupported.

The Flower and the Pot

Imagine a small flower, full of potential, its petals tightly

curled, waiting for the right moment to unfurl. It is planted in a pot, but the pot is small, its soil dry and sparse. The roots press against the hard edges, searching for space, for nourishment, for room to grow. The flower struggles. It droops. It withers. It is not broken, but it is trapped.

A flower drooping, petals falling from it thirst. It lives in a small dry pot and sees little light.

Now imagine the same flower, placed in a wide, rich pot. The soil is deep, moist, and full of nutrients. The roots stretch easily, drinking in what they need. Sunshine warms the petals; water quenches its thirst. Careful hands tend to it, giving it time, attention, and protection. Slowly, the flower unfurls. It grows. It blooms.

A flower in bloom, living in rich, moist soil. It lives in a spacious pot in the sunlight.

This simple story carries a profound message. Living with a disability is not about lacking potential, it’s about often being placed in environments that don’t allow that potential to thrive. The flower isn’t broken. The problem isn’t with the flower, it’s with the pot.

Using Metaphors in Therapy

In therapy, metaphors like this are more than just illustrative devices; they are doorways to deeper understanding. They allow people to explore emotions and experiences without having to confront them too directly. For many, hearing this story brings an immediate sense of recognition. They identify with the flower. They realise they’ve been surviving in a pot that is too small, in conditions that don't support their growth. Metaphors soften the edges of pain. They help to reframe struggle as something contextual, not inherent. And most importantly, they create space for self-compassion. They ask not, What’s wrong with me? But rather, what do I need to thrive? What needs to change around me so I can grow?

Thriving Is About the Environment, Not the Individual

Disability is so often seen as a personal deficit, it's something to be “overcome” or “fixed”. But The Flower and the Pot invites us to challenge that narrative. Thriving is not about changing the individual; it’s about changing the conditions around them.

Accessibility, inclusive attitudes, adequate care, understanding support networks, these are the nutrient-rich soil and warm sunlight that make flourishing possible. When a flower fails to bloom, we don’t blame the flower. We check the soil. We move it to a better pot. We give it what it needs.

Final Thoughts

Metaphors are not just poetic flourishes; they are powerful tools for healing, insight, and change. Metaphors help us to speak about truth in a way that’s emotionally resonant and deeply human. Whether you’re a therapist, a carer, a policy-maker, or someone navigating your own journey with disability, I invite you to reflect on the stories you’re telling and the ones you’ve been living. Take a moment to consider: What kind of pot am I in? And what sort of garden are you helping to tend?

Let’s create environments that allow everyone the chance to bloom. Because with the right care, every flower has the potential to bloom.

Written by Helen Rutherford BA, Dip He, MBACP Accred